My country estate borders a wetland. Despite the efforts of the locals, it's remarkably pristine. But all that rich, vacant ground drives me mad with desire as in my wild imaginings I see hanging gardens (created by me), wood nymphs reclining by roman baths (built by me) but ... being the good little (armchair) greenie that I am I know that a reserve is off limits.
That was 5 years ago and I've weakened.
You see, I've got a thing about avocados. Partly because they are so easy to grow (whether they fruit is another matter). They are a nice looking tree! They even look a bit native! I mean, it's not as if they are a showy Jacaranda or something. So ... one or two (or 10) hidden away in the reserve wouldn't seem to be too much against the natural order of things, I told myself.
So I've planted about 5 avocado seeds. They may or may not grow into the fruit laden quivering monsters I expect them to be but like all people who do the wrong thing I've tried to justify it and this is how. I've planted the seeds next to blackberries and my rationale is that they'll grow and destroy the evil bramble which otherwise wouldn't have occurred (everything going to plan). Sort of ... replacing one evil with another, less threatening, evil.
But in the middle of the night I awake in a cold sweat. Sodden with guilt. In the shadows of my room I see the stentorian face of Bob Bown glaring at me from the gloom! Remorseless in its condemnation!
You think I sinned? Greatly?
Yours truly
Calam...Capability Neri.