Reading this thread has been the highlight of my day. I’m only up to page 2 and I’m absolutely hooked! It is so similar to some of the stuff I’ve had to deal with, and the way you write has kept me so entertained. Thank you thank you thank you! Like Annietom, my favourite line was
,” If I ever do this again ...the planet can kiss my arse.... I'm getting in the bobcats and it can all go to landfill. By the end of 2 weeks I was so sick and tired of lifting heavy things, trying not to break a cupboard that someone had paid 20 bucks for...”
My 11K restump has turned into a 40K + major reno – most of which I’m enjoying but St. Mary McKillop is dead sick of hearing from my mum about the rain. The entire contents of my house lived in a tent in the backyard for 3 months! Every time it rained, the tent roof would fill with about 50l of water and the centre pole would buckle under the weight. I take credit for breaking the drought in Melbourne!
The previous owner of my house was a “handyman”. Words cannot covey the sarcasm within those quotation marks! There are numerous example of his incompetence but my favourite is when I ripped up the lino in the kitchen to reveal chunks of plasterboard! Not sheets (which would be bad enough) but fairly random chunks ranging from about 10 sq cm to maybe 50sq cm. I wondered why the floor was spongy! Before this I didn’t know what yellowtongue was!!LOL
And Floorboards!! If I had a dollar for every person who told me that “you can sell those Baltic pine boards”, I’d just about pay for the reno. FALSE! You cannot sell those Baltic pine floor boards!!! They are stuck pretty bloody hard to the floor. And pulling them up destroys the whole tongue and groove getup. AND NOONE WANTS THEM! I will attach photos of the ‘burn the floor’ party I had.
I looked at her, as the timber was going up in flames, and said "oh yes, I should have done that" thinking to myself, "why don't you do that lady, I'm over it!"
Annietom – I feel your pain!
I have to get back to work, so I’ll post this and continue later.