Hi
The builder we'll probably end up with was referred to us by a friend, after she'd done all the ground work in terms of comparisons. Initially when we started the process, I had the idea of putting together an Excel spreadsheet and compiling a detailed listing of everything that was being offered by each one, their pricing, what they call inclusions and what's not, etc etc. It's a great idea, but then I remembered I have dependents and my life is not just perfect like that, so deciding to trust my friend. That's not to say I email and ask a lot of questions and just keep asking!
Re those 'free luxury additional no more to pay inclusions' - I'd have to agree with everyone else and first list down what is important to you and your needs. Pricing is secondary is what I've learned (of course it's still very important to be within your means etc), and so long as it's doable and practical and right, and ticks all your "needs" bucket, the "wants" are secondary and great if the builder you choose does include it at said 'no extra cost'. One thing I've also learned is some builders offer all these inclusions let's say for a fixed price, but what if quite a bit of the inclusions you don't really need or care about? You end up paying for it as those costs are recovered somewhere else in your base price or higher site costs etc.
It's a lot of work, and it's all a balance of knowing your limit, knowing your needs, and knowing and trusting yourself that you'll make the right decision. Good luck!