Browse Forums Building A New House Re: Stuck in a predicament - do we sell or keep our land? 21Apr 20, 2008 8:37 pm Thank you everyone for your thoughts and replies - we have come to a final decision - mine is family and my husbands to build.
For Dave the problem is the two storey house, we never wanted stairs with kids (I said we should turn it into a slide with a pull rope to get up). He thought that we would be too close to my family, which I can respect from him, as his in-laws. Loves my family, enjoys their company but wants our own family space too. And the area is not great for public transport. I'm disappointed we have come to different decisions. I see his point but would have liked to think it would work out for us. I will not regret either decision but I fear that if we brought the house with my family, that Dave would regret selling our block. Building in Lyndhurst Carlisle Atlantique Re: Stuck in a predicament - do we sell or keep our land? 22Apr 20, 2008 8:48 pm Hi Lea,
Its nice to hear you love you family so much, I'm glad we dont live too close to mine (or rather in laws) so I can understand where your DH is coming from. As for the stairs - don't let them worry you for the kids sake - I have stairs and have had two kids now aged 11 & 9, they learnt quickly to manipulate them and have managed them fine over the years. No one has fallen down them, but I have been known to fall Up them when I've been in a rush Paula Re: Stuck in a predicament - do we sell or keep our land? 25Apr 21, 2008 12:50 am Quote: He thought that we would be too close to my family, which I can respect from him, as his in-laws. Loves my family, enjoys their company but wants our own family space too. I haven't said anything before now, because I thought ....wow, your lucky if you can both get along with your family like that, BUT if your husband is having doubts???? I live over the road from my in laws and at one stage lived in a flat underneath theirs. I was always reluctant to do so but DH saw it as a the best financial option (he was given the old family home when he was younger and selling it was not an option). All I can say is that it totally ruined my relationship with my in laws, I can't express how bad things got......I can feel the tears welling now. And what saddens me the most is that I am sure that things would never have got to the stage they did last year if we had not lived over the road from them. I can say that after a HUGE blow up last year when my M-I-L said the most hurtful things to me that anyone could ever say, things are most probably better now than they have ever been, but I am still incredibly hurt and sad that it ever got to that point. Now, I'm not saying this would ever happen to you, (ours also involved a clash of cultures), but if your husband is having doubts, don't take them lightly. But having said all of this, I wouldn't want to live next door to my own family either so maybe the problem was just me as the MIL suggested. Must learn to forgive and forget.....Must learn to forgive and forget......Must learn to forgive and forget...... 'chelle We have a hand-over date...15/10...but I won't hold my breath! http://people-in-glass-houses.blogspot.com/ Re: Stuck in a predicament - do we sell or keep our land? 26Apr 21, 2008 10:36 am I'm going to say build in this instance.
Yes - your family are living in the one spot now - but will that always be the case? There may be job opportunities in other states, parents becoming grey nomads and not really being at home much anyway. A good friend recently bought a block of land to build close to his parents. After the purchase - the parents have announced they are going to sell up and move to a retirement community! I think every family needs it's own personal space. After 4 years - we're in! Re: Stuck in a predicament - do we sell or keep our land? 27Apr 21, 2008 10:39 am Sorry to hear that chelle! I could feel your saddness and its really unfortunate that happened to you.
For us its final - we are staying with our own plans to build in MW estate and I'm back to great excitement to build our dream home in a lovely estate as soon as it transforms from dirt to block. The move actually makes us slightly closer than our current house and while we are building we actually move back into mum and dads for the near-year too. So if anything, hopefully everyone gets sick of each other and happily see's the departure into the new house. For your better health, please try to focus on your future. You will enjoy life so much more if you do. If there is any bitterness left, leave it with your in-laws and don't take it on board, then your the stronger and happier person long-term. Building in Lyndhurst Carlisle Atlantique Re: Stuck in a predicament - do we sell or keep our land? 28Apr 21, 2008 11:11 am Lea For your better health, please try to focus on your future. You will enjoy life so much more if you do. If there is any bitterness left, leave it with your in-laws and don't take it on board, then your the stronger and happier person long-term. Thanks Lea. We do actually get on better now than before. The "blow-up" was one of those things that just had to happen I suppose. Good luck with your decision and the building....hope it all goes well Oh, and by the way, where we are building is still over the road from the MIL, (DH inherited the land) but it is up a 120m steep driveway and MIL has a heart condition I have moved on ......really I have 'chelle We have a hand-over date...15/10...but I won't hold my breath! http://people-in-glass-houses.blogspot.com/ Re: Stuck in a predicament - do we sell or keep our land? 29Apr 21, 2008 1:22 pm Quote: Oh, and by the way, where we are building is still over the road from the MIL, (DH inherited the land) but it is up a 120m steep driveway and MIL has a heart condition Paula Re: Stuck in a predicament - do we sell or keep our land? 31Apr 21, 2008 3:18 pm Hard decision, but it sounds to me like your family is pretty understanding, so they would understand if you chose to "build" because it was the right thing for your "immediate" family (meaning yourself, hubby & the kids).
We lived close to ours (say 20 min drive) for about 9 months after the first grandkid was born. I don't know, being too close can lead to a worse relationship as can being too far. When we moved interstate (we move around often and made it clear that we wouldn't be staying in that city for too long) my MIL was heartbroken. Really the relationshinp went down hill since, and then she passed away which is very sad and unfortunate. But now we're about 3.5hrs from my father in law and it seems to suit us all well. My Mom on the other hand is on the other side of Aus! There is something nice about being within reach, I think 20 min away is still pretty close. But yes the old village lifestyle of popping over next door is not that common these days - if it can work for you both then go for it! If it was me, I would probably choose the dream home - the place you want your kids to grow up, especially if it means they will still have a good relationship with the grands. Re: Stuck in a predicament - do we sell or keep our land? 32Apr 21, 2008 9:45 pm Go the new place.
From what your saying underneath it all - you really want to make a break but the family is putting the pressure on to do what they want. Most farm families realise that with everyone living on the same farm, they need their own space and each of them builds their house away from the others. Think about the day to day logistics of it. It can get pretty intense living beside people - who really are part of your life everyday. My thoughts. Steve . Use a product like Equisol's Vitalise to clean the deck then coat with a penetrating timber oil. It will look 10 years younger and add value to your home. Visit for… 1 15812 Yeah I don't know why I came to a forum. Place is full of wierdos/pedos thought internet may help but I suppose I'll try my luck with someone in person. Cheers. I tried… 0 6446 Need advice on the backyard plan above. Should I excavate and cut all of the dirt to level with the house slab or semi-excavate as per photo above? Both left and right… 0 24875 |